I returned to work last October, after having a full 7 months off. Like many mothers, I didn’t want to return, but in order to provide for my family alongside my husband, I returned. Now I can say this, I do like my job, so returning for me was somewhat bittersweet. I missed my work friends. I missed dressing up for meetings, kinda. I even missed my boss, because if I’m being realistic, I have an amazing one. But that’s besides the real point, which is that I’ve struggled the entire 7 months that I’ve been back to work and this pandemic really turned things around for me.

I feel like since I’ve been forced to redirect my energy and work from home, I’ve been a better employee. I’m not going stir crazy and I actually like being home. But let’s back up to October of 2019 to get a full understanding of what I mean.

On the first day back from extended maternity leave , I felt great. I woke up extra early, I walked in with Starbucks in hand, and I championed my day. It was a bit slow for the first two weeks as I had to wait on a lot of technical issues to be resolved, but of course I powered through it. I missed by baby, but it was surprisingly not as painstaking as I thought it would be. I mean, I imagined I’d have to excuse myself multiple times throughout the day so I could go ugly cry in a bathroom stall. Luckily for me, I stayed strong. Watching the million and one videos and pictures I had stored in my phone helped a great deal too. I was managing this greatly, or so I thought.

It wasn’t until I was months into my return that I started to question whether I really like my job. I knew I loved the company I work for and the people I work with, but was I really passionate about the work I was doing and did I feel like I was a valuable asset? The truth was I didn’t know how to answer either of those questions. I started to feel like my work was mundane, and I lacked the ability to care for it as I had before I went on maternity leave. My work was sub par, if that, and I struggled finding the drive to be excellent. This is when I noticed that maybe I did prefer being a stay at home mom and spending time with the baby that I sacrificed so much to have. Let’s also add that I was commuting to work by bus and train to save on parking costs. That added over an hour each day, back and forth to the office. That alone was taxing before my day even began.

I’m not writing this to complain, but I do wonder if there are other working mamas out there that can relate to feeling like they’re trapped in a job or a lifestyle that can be difficult, or nearly impossible to get out of. Feeling stuck at work, but you have to work. Missing your children daily. Coming home and still having to be a wife, mom, cleaning lady, chef, etc. There are so many levels to this motherhood game. Now that I’ve made that point, let me continue.

Fast forward to March 2020. When the whole world and every mom had to experience a forced change of nature. Coronavirus was the flag on the play during the game of life, and we will never be the same because of it. If you live in Los Angeles like I do, then you know we eventually became extremely proactive and the governor mandated that we are safer at home. We can shop for essentials, essential workers can still work, but we should be at home with the people who live in our households.

I was fortunate enough to begin working from home around the middle of March. Immediately following, my baby’s schedule changed from 5 days a week at daycare to 3. My life has begun to switch. Like my return to work after a 7 month leave, my first few weeks working from home we’re shaky. I was months into lacking the drive to be a great employee at this point and I really thought I’d be able to even better escape my daily duties now that I was working in the comforts of my own home everyday.

Month 2 into the daily home grind, and I can now say my passion, drive and sense of value have been uprooted. This quarantine has really changed me for the better and I’m really grateful for it. Now some of you may be saying girl, how did that happen?! Well, here’s a few simple key points on why working from home while being quarantined has really changed the game for me and made me more productive.

1. I get to spend more time at home with my baby. This point is number one for me. Even though I coped really well with leaving him at daycare everyday, I truly am blessed to be able to spend more time with him. I birthed him, and I want to nurture him as much as I can in his youth. Now, do I need a break at times? YES! But I’ll never get these days back, so I’ll enjoy them while I can.

2. I no longer have a 2 hour commute. Can I get a HALLELUJAH?! AMEN! This one is self explanatory.

3. I feel more valuable at work. I managed a series of in person workshops prior to COVID-19, and unfortunately we can’t host any right now. This resulted in my entire role shifting. I’m taking on new projects, I’ve become a different resource and I feel like it’s ignited the old flame in me. I decided to find the value in my work and it found me.

4. I more now than ever get to utilize technology to its maximum capacity. Let me tell you how much I love target drive up service! You can order directly in the app and wait til it’s ready, pull up, and they even put it in the car for you! I also have utilized grocery pickup at Ralphs, and I’ve continued to shop on Amazon, and the list goes on.

5. I cook so much more! Betty Crocker ain’t got nothing on me! lol Seriously, I have been cooking a lot more and it feels so good. If you’ve read some of my previous posts you’ll know that we’re remodeling our new home. I have a brand new kitchen, and I’ll be able to cook my first meal in it this weekend!

No matter where your heart and mind are during this quarantine, please take some time to reset yourself. If you’re feeling down, write out the positive outcomes you’ve experienced during these times and take joy in the fact that you’re able to press on another day. Self reflection helped me evaluate how unhappy I’d been at work, and how I could turn that unhappiness around. Many hugs to you sweet Mama’s and Papa’s out there! Xoxo