While searching for topics to write about, I quietly thought to myself about how I dealt with hearing bad news from the doctor. How did I cope with a doctor telling me that my baby wouldn’t make it? How did I cope with that same doctor suggesting we terminate our baby halfway through our pregnancy? How did I allow myself to stay strong and not give up? Well, I had to find my faith in God and my strong mama spirit, cope with the news, and then push forward.

Merriam-Webster defines Cope as: To deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties —often used with with. So, I had to cope, or deal with an attempt to overcome my bad baby news.

Well first off let me just say this, I CRIED. I cried, and cried. I dried my eyes, and then I cried some more. You could almost say that I began to grieve the child that I was supposedly going to lose. I don’t think that my crying in anyways was a solvent for my pain. But it helped a lot because I got to let myself feel what I was going through, and then let me emotions help me get to a place where I could cope.

I probably cried everyday for the first few weeks. I couldn’t make up in my mind that I would terminate my baby, and the thought alone literally wrecked my heart and my mind. It felt like deep turmoil, and I had to cry my way out of the abyss of it. But, once I found that inner peace and solace, my husband and I prayed. We prayed our socks off and so did our family. And to tell you the honest truth, those prayers and our faith literally carried us every single day. Then we were coping, and some.

Our faith allowed us to make the decision that we would not terminate. And I made the conscious decision to tell the Lord that I would accept whatever he allowed to happen. Life or death for my unborn baby, I would accept the oath He chose for us. Now if you’ve read my previous blog posts, you’d know that life was chosen and I now have a beautiful baby boy. But my entire pregnancy was filled with coping, praying and crying, loss and restoration, and so on.

I use to think that coping was selling out, but it’s not. It’s really healing in the midst of your sorrow. That’s coping! That’s coping and making it through the dark times.